I am my motivation

It’s ALL different now. Inside of me & the world/society I live in. I reached a level of consciousness I never had before. And thank you to the women who taught me along the way. I learned something from each of you. I was torn from everything and only had my body & mind to rely on but the relationship I have with those two things is so powerful now. I feel like no one can stop me. AND IM HAPPY Things aren’t as scary now because I lived hell for years , I have confidence to get out there and do me. I spent five years with an included bonus prize of 7 months in the box , solitary confinement, SHU And I came out a different person. I hated it at the time but it was one of the most personal and beautiful times I could have spent with myself. I WAS FORCED to face myself I had no choice. I made peace with the demons smothering me and let it all go. I had to shred off my skin, in pain & tears but what’s underneath amazes me. Not only am I home physically but I am home mentally.

Affection to my hair

Take my hair and torch it between two bricks of flame,

to char the tips until they represent the gnarled witch’s broom—melt anything glossy that crosses its path

Attempt to mask the blistering wounds

And run the length of each strand

With chemicals that mimic fresh waterfalls and flowers

Give zero mercy to the confusion forcing my hair into labyrinths

Push my hair into ways it was not intended

For the sake of Beauty

Dreaming of my curls to be relaxed &

Bounce freely

Only with more chemicals that erase the frizz and polish with more shine

100 different combs

All of this attention/affection paid unto my hair

When it defies me & will not do as I say

You would think that my hair would love me back

With all of this attention I give. This attention is my affection

Short, Long, Medium, Straight,

Curly, Dark, Light, Bright

My hair cries from the choices I make

But can’t you see? This attention is my affection ByMRSC

A little about Me

I am a full time student studying Creative Writing. I am planning my wedding in a few months- I’ve reconnected with my long lost childhood sweetheart. I am so new to everything. It’s like I was dropped here on Earth from another planet. I just served five years in prison and I am living a fresh new start. I came home to almost nothing and I have worked hard to build myself up BETTER than I was before. I made mistakes and I paid for them. Now, I have a positive outlook on life and I do good things- things I am proud of. I am into self care, I am trying to learn a new language, I appreciate time with my family, I am about to graduate, I don’t associate with people from my past. I’ve got this warrior mentality about me now. I came home and hit brick wall after brick wall. Things were not easy. And to top it off- people were so advanced. I knew nothing about technology anymore, I wasn’t truly knowledgeable about current events… I felt so out of place. I have very strong family support and people dk not judge me. It feels so good to WOW those around me. They see that I refuse to lay down, that I will get up and make things happen. I never wasted a day while incarceration. I graduated from college with an AA and now am working on a BA. Something I never thought I would have had in my previous life. I also do not take my mistakes for granted either- I do my best to learn from them.

So about me ? My mind is hungry. I have felt the potential I am capable of and I want more! I’m relearning everything about life & im on such a blessed track

Wedding planning

Planning a wedding FROM A DIFFERENT STATE is so difficult. Ya, it helps my hubby and family live there; but come on, does the planning really fall on them? NO …. it falls on me! So as I am going to school full time I am also planning this huge event & I am not there to meet with different businesses and I am unable to be flexible with dates—everything has to fall in between the dates I am visiting. The wedding is in a few months and I feel I’ve gotten to a good point so far: I have ordered and started sending invitations, catering, dj, florist, venue, dress, registry, website, hashtag, bridal party, & for now that’s all I can think of…. but oh is there so much more! One of the most challenging things about a wedding in general was picking the color scheme. I am so happy I’ve gotten this far. I’m nervous though… this huge party is going to be a reflection of what I PLANNED. I hope everything comes out nice-I’m not going to say perfect because I know it will not be and I’m not going to stress things I do not need to stress over. The next obstacle is the make up and hair: I have to price shop, speak to,& hire people for me and the bridesmaids. My hair situation is unique as well….

Wigs

I love wearing wigs. I have long hair and I have been trying to keep it healthy. I don’t like using a flat iron anymore and I absolutely do not want to color it again. I am in need of a cut though- but that’s not damaging so it’s all good. I wear wigs to change my style without being cruel to my hair. It’s so fun to change how I look on a moments notice and to buy fun wigs. I love wearing pinks and blues. I also wear normal colors too. For my wedding I know I’ll either be wearing extensions or a wig. And this is where it gets complicated: I do not like my forehead / hairline and since I have entered my thirties I have noticed my hair becoming thinner 😰 I am so self-conscious about it. For the wedding I want to wear a wig. Mind you- a nice one. Becuase I want my hair line and forehead to have a look I am comfortable with. However ! Stylings a wig into an updo is not an easy task. And I do not want to wear my hair down. My dress have an open back and the attention of the dress is drawn there; so why would I cover it with my hair ?! If I go the route with the extensions I can totally make that work but it leaves the front of my hair exposed. I need help 😩

Speaking Spanish

Learning the Spanish language can be very difficult for me sometimes. I’m currently taking SPA II. I’ve had zero experience before this past year. I was fiercely using Duolingo since June & it has worked wonders. I noticed that when I stopped using the app everyday my Spanish was declining. I’m actually worried about my grade at the end of the semester. I’m not sure how financial aid works if you fail a class & they advise you to take the classes you need- there is not much room for me to take anything extra- and I actually want to re-take this class. I am learning new things from class and my profesora is so helpful and encouraging. I think I work slowly because the material is a lot more difficult for me than my classmates 🤷🏻‍♀️. I don’t see anyone else struggle like me ( or at least speak up about it ) and they don’t take advantage of the tutoring like I do. Everyone tells me to use Quizlet- I don’t even know what that is! I haven’t been in school in a while so I’m not up to date with these types of things. I’ve tried going on there and seeing what it’s all about….. but it was terrible. I don’t know how to work Quizlet & I am ok with that. Of course I want perfect grades but I wouldn’t be learning. I actually care about learning this language. I want this. I’m always listening to podcasts and watching YouTube tutorials in my free time, and practicing with the things that happen around me and converting it all into Spanish inside of my head. I need so much help, I’m so exhausted from school & everyday I just keep trying and trying to figure it (school) all out.

Benefits of the cold 🥶

I [Strongly Dislike] the cold. I am truly a warm weather type of gal. I have a space heater next to my bed almost year round to prove it. But cold exposure IS good for you in some ways. There a lot of benefits when you include cold temperatures. Your stress levels, your sleep quality, immune system, psychical appearance, and metabolism are intertwined and are some of the areas you will benefit from those benefits [ I HAD to do it! lol it just sounds too catchy to pass on 🙂 ] Not only for your health, cold also helps your beauty. So, as these warm months are approaching and youre looking for ways to cool off why not take a dip into a cold bath/shower and give youre body and beauty some T.L.C. Here are ways you can get in on these “cool” tips:

  1. Younger looking hair: your follicles are smoothed down because the cold helps your strands lock in moisture. If you are looking to achieve stronger & softer hair, the cold water helps reduce frizz & breakage. [Hot Water can strip & irritate hair-yes. But! hot (more preferably very warm) water actually aids in opening up your hair follicles]
  2. Improves complexion: You want smaller-looking pores, a decrease in puffiness & redness, and a refreshing wake me up “wide awake” look? Cold water is a great place to get started. Same with hair, warm water opens everything up- and you want that. You want your pores to open and get cleaned out! However, you’re going to want to close those bad boys back up. Rinsing your face, after washing, with cold water is going to shrink your pores and blood vessels. Perfect for waking me up when I’m still sleepy before class.
  3. Glowing Skin: Okay, who doesn’t want glowing skin? This is connected to number two. The shrinking blood vessels and the blood flow affected by a rush of cold water is going to get circulation going through the skin and this is where you are going to start seeing signs of a flushed glowing look going on with your face. Your increased ‘woken up’ blood flow is also helping rid your face of toxins & all of the other little monsters out to steal your beauty.
  4. Eyes: Don’t have time to take a whole shower? running late? dont worry hun – it happens to the best of us. Cold temperature is good for this too. A trick I used to use is: I bought a gel face mask. You know the ones- they make you look like a super hero? 😉 I left it in the fridge at all times unless I needed it. I’ve read that putting a spoon under running water for a few seconds and then popping it into the freezer gives this deep chill, and when you are ready to take them out you place them over your eyes and lay back. This is nice if you want to take several moments to slow down while you are waiting for the cold spoons to work their magic. The mask however let’s you move around while you are soaking up the coolness. This does make a difference. I have personally tried both of these techniques. ***The beauty industry is full of products that help you achieve the ‘glowing’ look. I’m absolutely guilty of buying products promising glowing skin. The primers, the highlighters, , serums, the moisturizers- you name it. But, I believe that although- yes products do work, there is nothing like good ol’ fashioned natural remedies. Want a tip on how to accomplish all of these at once?…. after you have taken your lovely warm/hot shower turn your water to the cold [ and yes I mean cold ] setting; several moments and youre going to feel rejuvenated, refreshed, and you’re def going to be more awake after this. ( but hey, this doesn’t have to only be done in the morning-you can do this at night too and benefit just the same. )

Why do this?

  • Because it gives new readers context. What are you about? Why should they read your blog?
  • Because it will help you focus your own ideas about your blog and what you’d like to do with it.

The post can be short or long, a personal intro to your life or a bloggy mission statement, a manifesto for the future or a simple outline of your the types of things you hope to publish.

To help you get started, here are a few questions:

  • Why are you blogging publicly, rather than keeping a personal journal?
  • What topics do you think you’ll write about?
  • Who would you love to connect with via your blog?
  • If you blog successfully throughout the next year, what would you hope to have accomplished?

You’re not locked into any of this; one of the wonderful things about blogs is how they constantly evolve as we learn, grow, and interact with one another — but it’s good to know where and why you started, and articulating your goals may just give you a few other post ideas.

Can’t think how to get started? Just write the first thing that pops into your head. Anne Lamott, author of a book on writing we love, says that you need to give yourself permission to write a “crappy first draft”. Anne makes a great point — just start writing, and worry about editing it later.

When you’re ready to publish, give your post three to five tags that describe your blog’s focus — writing, photography, fiction, parenting, food, cars, movies, sports, whatever. These tags will help others who care about your topics find you in the Reader. Make sure one of the tags is “zerotohero,” so other new bloggers can find you, too.